A new month, March has just begun today. Two months of 2016
have already gone and the third month has started. We seem to just lose count.
Last week I was so busy attending the 5th Module
of the Counseling course run by “Person to Person,” that for full eight days
one didn’t see the sun rise or set. I was leaving home by 7.30 or even earlier in
the mornings and returning home by 7 pm or still later in the evenings, to top
it all, driving through the mad traffic of Bangalore.
The course itself was wonderful and so very educative; one
learnt about crisis management including dealing with bereavement, suicide and repercussions;
counseling at various life stages, children, adolescent, married adults, elderly
and the terminally ill; there were abuse related topics, physical abuse, sexual
abuse, substance abuse or addictions; eating disorders and abuse within
marriage; counseling people who are affected by AIDS/HIV, divorce, and
palliative care and so on.
It makes one wonder how could there be so many problems in
human life! The very near and dear ones, who are supposed to nurture and care
for those entrusted to their care, most often turn out to be the most single
person who inflicts these abuses on their dear and near ones. Why do they do
it? How come they do it? Where is this great ‘love’ that we talk about – the godly
love, unconditional love, sacrificial love? Are these only myths or is there
reality?
Human love for whatever its worth is only a love extended by
fallen human beings and as such is tainted by selfishness and possessiveness,
which strangulate the very love they extend. What is the remedy? Is there a way
out at all?
Selwyn Hughes, the great Christian Theologian and counselor, in
his God-given wisdom, has identified three important ingredients necessary for
a fruitful existence of human beings – emotional security, self-esteem and
significance – three major human needs. Without fulfillment of these three a
person will suffer emotional handicaps that his or her life will go awry.
Selwyn Hughes further clarifies that no human being can
fulfill these three human needs fully as they are not perfect beings. In one or
the other they will fail and inflict harm on the emotional make up or the
personality of the children or adults associated with them. Furthermore it is
all transient.
It is only in God, who has physically manifested Himself in
Christ, we can obtain fulfillment of all these three human needs. Emotional
security is when as children we know that we are loved and cared for by our parents;
but human selfishness could cloud such a love and many children grow up without
fully being loved or being conditionally loved and this shows in their adult
life as rejection – they are not able to give love or receive love which they
have not received or given when they were children.
Jesus loves us unconditionally. How great it is to know that
the one who created the heavens and the earth and all that there is in, loves
us so much that he went willingly to the cross to die for us, to pay a penalty
for our sins. He didn’t do this expecting something out of us, but did so even
while we didn’t love him and turned our backs on him. That is one emotional
security which will not fail ever.
A child that has not got affirmation from his/her parents
when he/she was young will have a low self esteem as an adult. But look at the
affirmation we get from Jesus Christ! For him, we are cherished; we count as
the most important beings on earth, for whom he willingly laid down his life. We
are most beautiful in his eyes and he loves us as we are, with all our faults
and short-comings and repeated failings. No human being can love us like that.
Our self-esteem, once we realize his love for us, can never be at the rock
bottom; it will soar like eagles in the sky.
We struggle in life not knowing what to do. The most powerful
and paying jobs do not satisfy us. After reaching the pinnacle of success a film
star may sink into depression; or a successful CEO may give up his glamorous
job and turn to writing poetry or painting. As we pursue earthly passions of
power, fame and riches, our hearts are empty.
It is Jesus Christ alone who can give us the significance
that we search in name, fame and power or even in love. Nothing else can give
us that. In doing what He wants us to do and doing that with our whole being,
our hearts are fulfilled and are at peace. We know we are doing something that
is important, relevant to human lives and fulfilling what our Creator wants us
to do. Each one of us have a purpose in life, God-given purpose and in
fulfilling that alone can we get peace, peace that passeth understanding.
As the months pass by and as the years roll by, let us invest
our time and energy to find out this love and this purpose and do these, so that
our human needs are totally met and we shine like stars, the most fruitful
beings with capacity to give to others what we ourselves have received from
Him.
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